Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

AJA
Mon Jan 30, 2006 at 01:12:18 pm EST
Subject
Hang him & let's get high: Part 3 & The End.
[New] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
 		Next In Thread >>

Our two main characters (The Drunken Stranger & Lady Snookie) are currently hiding behind a desk in the The Town that People Forgot to Name's Sherif's office because Dirty Dan McFancypants in currently outside the office with his band of mildy gay Desperados. Now, The Drunken Stranger was a really good shot. He was the best drunken gunslinger this side of my Aunt Mabel's Pecan Sandies. But, that didn't matter now that he had traded away his gun for a bottle of whiskey.

"Armbruster!" yelled Dirty Dan for that was the the Drunken Stranger's last name. "I'm calling you out. This little town ain't big enough for the two of us, you & I. So, I propose you get your yella bellied hide out here so I can shoot you."

"Crap!" came Arnold James Flying Hippotamus Armbruster from behind the desk. He didn't want to die, at least not in a poorly contructed Western themed story. He wanted to die having sex with some hot chick in Vegas!

The Drunken Stranger looked around the office for anything he could use to fight Dirty Dan with. But all he had with him was a bunch of empty, easily breakable, Whiskey bottles. Then, a dim bulb went off in his mind: He had an idea.

----------


Later that afternoon at High Noon: The Drunken Stranger strolled out to the street. Dirty Dan at one end, he at the other.

"So, you ready to die?" Dirty Dan said.

"No. Are you?" came a reply.

Dirty Dan laughed. The Drunken Stranger took this oppertunity to chuck a Whiskey bottle at Dan. Before it got to him, Dan pulled his gun & shot it. The Bottle shattered.

"Is that the best you can do?"

"No." The Drunken Stranger said & tossed another bottle at Dan. "I can do better."

This time, the bottle hit Dan right in smack dab the head & shattered all over his face.

"AHHHHHHH!" was Dan's reply as he fell to the ground in pain.

The Drunken Stranger turned to the rouge wearing Rogue's & said: "You guys care for a bottle?" As he said that he held up a few more of his empy whiskey bottles.

The Danty Desperado's shook their heads no & rode off into the sunset. The Drunken Stranger walked over to Dirty Dan, who was still rolling around on the ground in pain.

"You got ask yourself one question, just one thing: Am I going to die?" The Stranger said to his enemy. "Well, are you?"

The Drunken Stranger wasn't sure if Dirty Dan had heard him & wasn't sure if Dan was answering him in between the screams of pain, but being the god fearing gentleman he was: Armbruster let McFancypants live. He put him on his horse, slapped that beast's behind & let it ride off.

Once the citzen's of the town had seen that Dirty Dan had been defeated, they all came running. They picked The Drunken Stranger up & paraded him around town.

----------


A little while later, during the evening & after the parade: The Drunken Stranger & Lady Snookie were sitting by a campfire talking about that day's events.

"Do think Dan will come back?" Snookie asked.

"I don't know. There is always the possibity of a sequel." Arnie said.

"But, we don't sequels!"

"Well, technically: Everystory since the first one could be considered a sequel."

"True. But, the content is different everytime!"

"Yes. But, I think our writer will run out of ideas sometime & then he might start rehashing old stories."

"True. So, what's happens now since the story is over? When do we get to go home?"

"I don't know. Last time we were put in another setting: the story didn't end. Our writer just showed up filled the reader in what happened in the end, said some metatextual mumbo jumbo, reset the storyline & we went on from there."

"Think that will happen again?"

"I hope."

"It will, young Mister Armbruster!" came a voice from the darkness.

Breaking away from the setting once again: Arnie shines a flaslight in the voice's direction. Standing there is an abnormally pink man with dark blue corn rows. He was dressed up in a high tech toga with a yellow sash that says in black block lettering "Hall Monitor".

"Who are you?" Snookie asked.

"I am the Hall Monitor!" He said motioning to his sash.

"What do you want?"

"To help you get back to your normal storyline, for that is my job."

"To do what?"

"I was put to work to right any wrongs within the narrative structure that make up this wonderful multiverse we call life."

"Oh, great! Here we go again." Arnie lamented.

"So, what does that all mean?" Snookie asked.

"I, from my octagonal spaceship outside of time, watch the narrative strands for any & all irregularity. When I find one that may put the mulitverse into a crisis with the other infinite mulitverses: I intervene."

"So, this is one of them?"

"Yes. You & Mister Armbruster are not to be in a Wild West setting. Your setting is in the 21st Century."

"I know! So, how do we get there?" Arnie said.

"You will follow my assistant, Lolita Trainer, into that cave & all will be righted with the world." The Hall Monitor said. Standing beside him was a blond female dressed up in red & blue armor. She waved hello.

"Ok. Do we need to gather our stuff?" Arnie said.

"No, Mister Armbruster. It shall be given back to you when you get back."

"What about the Pastor & Talulabelle?"

"Since Reverend Tiki Tiki Master Bong & his bovine companion come from the 21st Century: they will be returned also."

"Cool. One last question.."

"I doubt it, but ask away!" The Hall Monitor said.

"Whose fault is this Western? Is it AJA? I bet it is."

"No, not completely. He did play a part, but the person who was at fault was my evil twin: The Anit-Hall Monitor. He seeks to destroy the Multiverse & recreate it in his own image which would not be good since he has this skin condision which makes his skin look like a moldly old grey orange."

"Ok." Arnie said trying to get that image out of his head.

So, Arnie & Snookie followed Lolita Trainer into the cave & with a bright flash of light: they were gone. Then, The Hall Monitor took a giant pencil out from his toga, erased everything & then left to right more wrongs.

----------


Epilogue:

"So, when do you think we'll get back?" Snookie asked as she looked over a magzine from 1989.

"I don't know." Arnie said.

They were sitting on a leather couch in beige waiting room. It was not what Arnie thought that a Multiversal Waiting Area would have looked like, it was to normal.

A few minutes, Arnie tapped Snookie on the shoulder & asked: "Am I seeing things or does the receptionist have two upper bodies?"

Snookie looked over at the lady at the desk & sure enough she had one set of legs, but two heads, two torso's & two sets of arms. "Yes. Yes, she does."

"Ok." Arnie said. Sat there for a moment & then asked: "When do you think we'll get to change out of our Old West Clothes?"

"I don't know. But, I hope soon. This corsit is really making it hard for me to breath."

"Mr. Armbruster & Miss Takashi?" Said the Receptionist Head on the right.

"Yes" Arnie & Snookie both said at the same time.

"You can enter now. Just go through that door & you'll be home." said the head on the left as she pointed to the door next to her.

"Thank you." Snookie said.

"It's been Surreal!" Arnie said as he waved.

The Recpetionst noded both of her head.

They both went through the door & woke up on a park bench at the Zoo in front of the Penguin exhibit.

"Were back!" Arnie said.

"Good & we're not dressed up in our western gear!" Snookie said.

"So, what now?" Arnie asked.

"Go back to the office?"

"Sound like a plan!" Arnie said & they walked off.

THE END!


134.39.78.93 (134.39.78.93) IP Address
Apple Safari/MacOS X (0.07 points)
[New] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
Follow-Ups:

Echo™ v3.0 alpha © 2003-2006 Powermad Software
Copyright © 2004-2006 by Mangacool Adventure